iz, me & izz

Dear adik baby,
Tonite, our last nite together. We will miss u badly.

13102012
Today we supposed to visit Dr.Suzi for monthly check-up, tapi agak me-malas lah pulak.
During lunch, have to jugak. Bleeding. Very bad. Blood clots punyalah besar.

Ultrasound. Adik Baby even bigger than last visit. Sengih.
Nampak cam kaki tangan.
But,
There is no heartbeat.

Proceed with vagina ultrasound. Yeah, confirm. No heartbeat. 
She called it as 
"Silent Miscarriage".
Terkedu.


14102012
Bleeding sudah men-stop.
Tapi men-saket pula yang menjelma.
Visit Dr.Suzi again.
Katanya, disebabkan semalam bleeding terok, she men-expect baby akan keluar just like that.
Ni no more bleeding.
Cek jalan.
Dah lembut.
Ultrasound, still high.
She advice for emergency D&C.
Huhu saya belum menredi. Mau pulanglah.


And now,
Saketnya hanya Dia yang Maha Mengetahui.
Sebelum kami berpisah.
Sebelum adik baby keluar dari rahim ibu.
Malam ni kali terakhir adik baby mendengar surah-surah dari rahim ibu.
Maryam. Yusuf. Luqman. Yaasin.


Semoga Allah temukan kami kembali.